Corbin Theatre

Audition Notice:

The Outsider

By Paul Slade Smith

Comedy

Synopsis - Ned Newley doesn't even want to be governor. He's terrified of public speaking; his poll numbers are impressively bad. To his ever-supportive Chief of Staff, Ned seems destined to fail. But political consultant Arthur Vance sees things differently: Ned might be the worst candidate to ever run for office. Unless the public is looking for... the worst candidate to ever run for office. A timely and hilarious comedy that skewers politics and celebrates democracy.

110-120 Minutes

3 W, 4 M

Cast of Characters

Paige Caldwell – female, 20’s to 40’s. A professional/pollster. A smart, confident woman with a professional view of politics: she sees it as a series of contests to be won.

Dave Riley – male, 30’s to 50’s – The Chief of Staff to the new Governor. Very smart, but despite years of experience in government – very endearing, earnest, and naïve on the subject of politics.

Louise Peekes – female, 30’s to 60’s. A temporary employee hired as the

Governor’s Executive Assistant. Personable, likable, impressively confident and entirely inept. Without knowing it, she has an air of a politician about her. The friendliness of her smile, and the confident way she looks you in the eye, would make you think, “I’d vote for her.”

Ned Newly – male 50’s to 70’s – The new Governor. A person of impressive ability, but a complete lack of confidence. A man awaiting permission to enter a room in which he is already standing.

Arthur Vance - male 50’s to 70’s - One of the most experienced and successful political consultants in the country. His overbearing personality, and confidence in his own opinions over the opinions of others, should make him dislikable, but his ego is more than tempered by the joy – even glee – he brings into the room. He’s a showman, but his excitement is 100% genuine and it’s contagious.

Rachel Parsons – female 30’s. A TV reporter. She has the looks to be an on-air correspondent – though, if television had never been invented, she still would have been a journalist. Straight forward and honest, and inquisitive by nature. She’s seen enough of life - and politics – to be cynical, but she’s more apt of make a wry joke.

A.C. Peterson – male – 30’s to 50’s – A TV camera man. A working man, and for most people, a guy you didn’t notice was there. Which is fine with A.C.; he has a low tolerance for idiocy and would rather not interact with anyone. His near silence doesn’t make him seem unfriendly, just a bit of a mystery.

Auditions Scripts

Paige Caldwell – female, 20’s to 40’s. A professional/pollster. A smart, confident woman with a professional view of politics: she sees it as a series of contests to be won.

Option 1

Listen to me, Dave, this is simple. If we’re trying to convince people the man is their Governor, if we want him to look like a Governor, we put him in the Governor’s office, that’s politics one-oh-one. In fact – even better. We put him behind the Governor’s desk. Am I right? Have you ever seen a more Governor’s desk-looking desk than this desk? No, it’s perfect. We do the interview right here. We’re doing the interview, Dave. We have to put him on television again today. Just because the swearing in ceremony did not go well this morning…okay, we won’t talk about the swearing in ceremony, but you asked me for my advice. You know I am always right, and you hired me to help with the politics part, to give political advice to Ned Newly…Governor Ned Newly. You’ve got to admit, it feels pretty swanky being on the Governor’s staff. Speaking of which…am I the whole staff? Is it just you and me, Dave?

Option 2

Ned Newly taking the oath of office is the most amazingly, excruciatingly painful five minutes of live television I have ever seen. This is a man who JUST became Governor, in his first appearance on TV and all he has to so is repeat back what the judge says, just repeat the words, but instead…He just stands there , with this look of fear in his eyes, this look of absolute terror frozen on his face and does nothing for five minutes, but tremble uncontrollably, from head to toe. I mean, it was impressive, Dave. Honestly, in the history of politicians failing on TV, you can’t do better than Ned Newly being sworn-in. If he was sworn-in? I mean, can he claim to have taken the oath when he didn’t say anything. He didn’t say anything. He was just making noises. I’m not sure that makes him Governor. So, we’ve got to get him back on television TODAY!

Option 3

You hired me because I know politics. You knew I could tell you what happens next, which is this: there’s two political parties, right? And the other guys - the guys who don’t want Ned to be Governor – they now have a video of him mumbling and trembling for five minutes straight. And they’re going to USE that video to get him kicked out of the office. They’re going to call for a special election – to replace the Governor in six weeks. And I’m not telling you Ned Newly won’t win a Special Election. I’m telling you he won’t even get to run. Cause not even his own party will want Governor Mumbles as their candidate. So, if you want him to KEEP his job, you have to undo this. You have to get him on TV – today – talking. Not a speech, just…five minutes of HIM, on camera, speaking words. He can do that, right?

Dave Riley – male, 30’s to 60’s – The Chief of Staff to the new Governor. Very smart, but despite years of experience in government – very endearing, earnest, and naïve on the subject of politics.

Option 1

We are not doing an interview! I’m not putting him on television again today. We are not going to talk about the swearing -in ceremony. And we are not going to talk about WHY we are NOT talking about the swearing-in ceremony. I’m the Chief of Staff to a Governor who has no staff. Because until three hours ago, he was the Lieutenant Governor, I was his entire staff… because everyone knows Lieutenant Governors do not do anything, which, in this case, was not entirely true, even thought, it is the job description. But then – Larry Clark – this idiot – was forced to resign because he had sex with the runner-up in a beauty pageant. I don’t even know if it was the infidelity that people objected to, or the fact he didn’t sleep with the WINNER. But it is the fact that he lied about it, so when the whole truth came out, not only did Larry have to quit; his whole staff had to quit. So, suddenly my boss is the Governor of the state, and he has no staff. And I need a team. I need a plan. I need a PEN.

Option 2

I don’t think Larry Clark ever worked in this office. There’s nothing in this desk but plastic forks and soy sauce. Look, I’m going to be honest with you. This was never supposed to happen. Ned Newly was never supposed to be Governor. I’m not supposed to be the Governor’s Chief of Staff. I’ve been working in politics since I was in college, but…I always work for the guy who loses. I always work for the good guy – the honest, stand-up guy, who has zero chance of ever getting elected. I’m not experienced at, you know…SUCCESS.

Option 3

Are you joking? We have a responsibility to the voters. The Lieutenant Governor is the person who BECOMES Governor if anything happens to the Governor. Look, this morning…you can in with this crazy plan, where we convince people that Ned doesn’t know how to do this job, because people are looking for someone that doesn’t know how to do his job, and the way he gets to keep his job, which he’ll be really great at doing, as long as no one knows that he knows what he is doing. And I’m pretty sure I got that right because I don’t understand a word of what I just said. But this new plan – electing Lulu? This is something different. We can’t purposely put someone like that in office. We can’t be the ones telling people to vote for HER. Because if they vote for her, they will elect HER. Don’t pretend you actually think Lulu Peakes should be Lieutenant Governor. We KNOW she is not the one they should be voting for.

Option 1

And here I am at last. In the room, with the man. The man who called to me this morning like a siren, who spoke to me the screen of my laptop and said, “Arthur Vance, whatever plans you had for this week, this year, forget them. They can wait; the whole world can wait. There is only one thing for you now, one purpose, and its name is Ned Newly.” Don’t say a word. I don’t need you to speak. I just need you to be real. All morning, I’ve been traveling just to shake your hand and it’s…thrilling; it’s intoxicating. And this must be Dave. I already like you, Dave, ‘cause you’re the guy who believes in THAT guy. And then, there’s Ms. Caldwell – do you even realize what a talent she is! And she’s the first person you hired? I’m going to say that counts! You gentleman aren’t going to believe the work she has already done for us – the numbers she was just showing me. Ned Newly – honestly – you have no idea what a fortunate man you are. You have no idea how “of the moment” this moment is. Your moment, Governor! Until today, you were a common man. A nobody – content to BE a nobody. And then, because some clown named Clarke couldn’t keep his Johnson in his trousers, suddenly, you’re the Governor. But you say to yourself, “I’m not sure I’m up for this.” That sound about right? Exactly! Then, you stand up in front of those cameras – the whole world watching – and you say, “World, I’m not sure I’m up for this.” Oh, I’m not being critical. I’m just telling you what America saw. Look, I’m sorry if I have to be the one to break it to you, but times have changed. Unprepared is where it’s at. Unqualified is the new qualified. People today are looking for a new kind of leader. Not a career politician, stagnated by years of experience, but a common man, whose head is not clouded by too much knowledge. A humble citizen – blissfully unaware of how government works or even what its purpose is. In other words, someone absolutely, totally unprepared for elected office. And this morning, at a gloriously, horrible swearing-in ceremony, America found that man – Ned Newly.

Option 2

“We know better than the people who the people should be voting for.” I don’t want to alarm you, but I think you just made an argument AGAINST democracy. We are not putting her in office. It’s an election. It’s not up to us. It’s up the people. We think they’ll WANT to vote for her. Wait, no, we know better than the people who the people should be voting for. You want me to NOT run someone for office, because you’re afraid the people WILL like her and actually VOTE for her. And you don’t trust the people to act in their own self-interest. You’re telling me I’ve got a responsibility to only put certain candidates in from of the voters, in case the voters don’t know any better, and mistakenly picks the person that speaks to them, instead of the person you’ve decided they OUGHT to pick. It’s an election, Dave – and I say this in every campaign: if you don’t like my candidate, then find someone else. And I’ll put my guy out there, and you put your guy out there, but when election day arrives, it’s not up to us. It’s up to the people. We let the people decide. Lulu Peakes is running for Lieutenant Governor. Day after tomorrow, she will announce her candidacy – live on Channel 3. If you take my advice, the Governor will be sitting next to her when she does. But if you’ve got a better plan to keep Ned from being thrown out of office, then…you go with that, you let me know, Dave. Paige and I are going to go buy some balloons. We’ve got an election to win.

Louise Peakes – female, 30’s to 60’s. A temporary employee hired as the Governor’s Executive Assistant. Personable, likable, impressively confident and entirely inept. Without knowing it, she has an air of a politician about her. The friendliness of her smile, and the confident way she looks you in the eye, would make you think, “I’d vote for her.”

(Arthur is holding up cards for her to read, as he directs her speech.)

Well, I’ll tell you…

I love America.

I love the mountains out that window.

I love the oceans and the beaches.

I love how big this country is…

There are so many people in it.

But I also love places where there aren’t very many people.

I love the flag.

I love the red, white and blue colors in the flag.

I love the 4th of July.

I love marching bands and fireworks.

I’ve got a good feeling about today.

I’ve got a good feeling about the next week.

I’ve got a good feeling about the next week after that…and the next week…and the next week…

I think the future is full of hope.

I’m not Ned.

I’m not you, Rachel.

(Going off the rails)

I’m not a country western singer.

I’m not an astronaut.

I’m not a chef.

I’m not a gynecologist

But I believe in America.

And I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

And the next day…

And the day after that…

Option 1

Let’s go! Is there a back exit? Is there a secret passageway? We can sneak out the balcony! We can jump OFF the balcony. Let’s jump off the balcony, Dave. I signed the Devil’s book. I followed his instructions. I went on television and pretended I was an extra on Hee-Haw. I told the world I was brainless, vacant man with no idea how to be Governor. And they believed me. Did Paige show you my results from the focus groups? The public is convinced, Dave. They are absolutely convinced I’m an idiot. And they’re okay with that. And they’re okay with Lulu, who’s very sweet but knows nothing about government. And I did that. And what’s worse: Paige told me that people… (It’s painful) liked Lulu more than they liked me because they thought she was just as ignorant as I was, but that she had more enthusiasm. They thought I was stupid, Dave. But I wasn’t happy about it. And where do you go from here. They want me to campaign for her. Actually, get her elected. As Lieutenant Governor! Which means if I ever die, she becomes Governor…which means…I can never die. I want to die, Dave. I want to, at least, have that option. Why the hell did we ever get involved in politics? I actually believed that government…when it works right…could do something good.

Option 2

I don’t blame you for not voting. If you think the Government is just a place to send your taxes to every April, then…who cares who runs it? But…that’s not what Government is. Which I probably should have told you earlier. Government – in this country anyway, in a democracy – Government is just a word to describe the things that all of us collectively, that we have made a decision to do together. The kinds of things that none of us can do on our own. Americans take pride in saying, “I can take care of myself just fine.” And we can. But what we can’t do – none of us, individually, can do – is make sure there is a road…that can get us from Bristol to Burlington, right? Or make sure that road is paved and properly lit. That’s not something any one person can do. But we can decide, collectively, to make that happen – to build the road, and hire the pavers, and put in light bulbs. And to pay for all of it. So that…I can drive out to see my sister in Columbus, and an ambulance can get somebody to the hospital…and if a family owns a lumber company in Milford Falls, they can haul lumber to and from anywhere in the state – or anywhere in the country. Doing things together, that we can’t do on our own, in order to benefit all of us – that’s Government.

Look, the truth is…most people who go on TV make asses of themselves, especially politicians. But, you know, most politicians are asses to begin with. Because no sane person would want to work in the government, because what is Government? What does it do? Right? What good, honest purpose does it serve? I suppose it has to exist and always will exist, but Government, politics, what does it have to do with…I’m sorry, but…real life? It has nothing to do with MY life. I pay my taxes. I gripe about it, but I pay, and then all that money gets spent on…whatever – whatever politicians spend money on when they are not busy trashing other politicians or looking into my camera and lying every time they open their mouths. Right? (Beat) Why should I pay attention to that? Why should I care? Life is crowded enough as it is. I’ve got a brother who’s out of work, needs help paying his rent. I’ve got a friend who’s been in and out of the hospital. And my wife and I… just want to make it to the weekend so we can spend some time with our boys, who are awesome and important. That’s real life. Government is …over there. Making a lot od noise. If you listen to it. But why listen to it. Thanks. I don’t know why I brought l that up.

Thank you, Charlie. I’m Rachel Parsons, coming to you live from the Governor’s office, where I once again have the privilege of sitting down with the state’s new Governor, Ned Newly and Ms. Lulu Peakes, who is a candidate for Lieutenant Governor and who is officially launching her campaign today. Well, I must say it is certainly impressive how the Governor’s office has been decorated for the occasions, including – if A.C. can get it in the shot – a large poster declaring: Lulu: She’s just like us. A reference perhaps, to the fact that you have never been involved in politics before, Ms. Peakes? Can you give us one or two things you’d like to accomplish as Lieutenant Governor? Oh, and a voice in the studio is reminding me to ask you about your first campaign rally, being held on Saturday, is that right? Oh, I’m sorry, I’ve just been corrected. I wasn’t supposed to ask you about he rally. I was just supposed to announce it. Because apparently, I am not working for the campaign. And now a different voice in my hear is telling me to stop editorializing and just do what I am paid to do. Thanks, boss! But, I’m thinking, “What AM I paid to do?” And also, “How many chances do I get in a career to interview a Governor?” So why not go for broke and act like a journalist, on my last day as a journalist. Governor Newly, Channel 3 News received an interesting package two days ago: a box containing documents pertaining to the running of the state government. In that box – along with a lot of official papers – were quite a lot of handwritten notes and memos from you to Governor Clarke ad other government officials.

Jazz on the first Monday,

Acoustic night is second Tuesday

Updated - The Outsider

Rehearsal Schedule

Week 1

Monday, September 23 and Tuesday, September 24 - Auditions – 6:00-8:30

Thursday, September 26 - Read Thru – 6:30PM

Week 2

Monday, September 30 - Block - Act I – Scene1 – p. 11-35 – 6:30PM

Tuesday, October 1 – 6:30PM

Review Blocking – Act I – Scene1 – p. 11-35

Block Act I, Scene 2 – p. 36-58 –

Thursday, October 3 – 6:30PM

Finish Blocking Scene 2 – p. 36-58

Review Blocking Scene 2 – p. 36-58

Week 3

Monday, October 7- Jazz

Tuesday, October 8 – Acoustic

Wednesday, October 9 - 6:30PM - Act I Straight Thru

Thursday, October 10 – 6:30PM - Act I Straight Thru

Week 4

Monday, October 14 - Block- Act II – Scene1 – p. 59-68

Begin Blocking Scene 2 – p. 69-89

Tuesday, October 15 – 6:30

Finish Blocking - Act II – Scene 2 (as needed) – p. 69-89

Review Blocking Act II Scene 1-2 – p. 59-89

Thursday, October 17 –

Review Blocking - Act II – Scene 2 – p. 59-89

Block Act II, Scene 3 – p. 89-97

Week 5

Tuesday, October 22 – 6:30

Review Act II, Scene 3 – p. 89-97

Act II Straight Thru

Thursday, October 24 – 6:30 - Act II Straight Thru

Week 7

Monday, October 28 – 6:30 - Act I Straight Thru Review

Tuesday, October 29 – 6:30 - Act I and II Straight Thru

Week 8

Monday, November 4 - Jazz

Tuesday, November 5 – 6:30 - Act I and II Straight Thru

Thursday, November 7 - Act I and II Straight Thru

Show Week

Monday, November 11 – 6:00 - Dress Rehearsal

Tuesday, November 12 – 6:00 - Dress Rehearsal

Show –

Thursday, November 14

Friday, November 15

Saturday, November 16

Sunday, November 17

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Audition Notice

Fiddler on The Roof

By Bock, Harnick & Stein

Directed by Maggie Thomas

Musical Director - Laura Barge

Tech Director - Troy Wulfemeyer

Musical

Story - When Tevye's eldest daughter, Tzeitel, begs him to let her marry a poor tailor rather than the middle-aged butcher that he has already chosen for her, Tevye must choose between his own daughter's happiness and those beloved traditions that keep the outside world at bay. Meanwhile, there are other forces at work in Anatevka, dangerous forces which threaten to destroy the very life he is trying to preserve.

Audition Dates -

October 11th - 4pm

October 12th - 3pm

Show Dates -

January 9th, 10th, 11th - 7:30pm

January 11th - 2pm

Sign up for Audition Time - https://www.signupgenius.com/go/10C084EA8AD2CA3FECF8-50527873-fiddler?fbclid=IwY2xjawFGo3VleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHfo8ATyzvRXEScVzY56n5ppzcRuN-vHtNOtFbpCSZEPnsztL7-MiCTM6Mw_aem_y7aGSjJa99x_es1J7FTkUw#/

Please prepare a 1 minute song with recorded music. Cold readings will be provided during audition.

Cast of Characters

Tzeitel Female, Lead, Mezzo-Soprano, Alto

Chava Female, Lead, Mezzo-Soprano, Alto

Hodel Female, Lead, Mezzo-Soprano, Alto